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Bounce therapy

Young people with ADHD are prone to addiction. Absolutely true! According to research, young people who use medication for this are less likely to use drugs. “Preventively fill them with pills before they start self-medicating.” That is what many a psychiatrist calls. Absolute nonsense! They already use drugs! The psychiatrist is the dealer and a lot of money is made from it. We are there and look at it. Medikinet, Ritalin and Concerta are the most famous ‘legal’ drugs that thousands of young people swallow every day. All three fall under the Opium Act and are super addictive. Some even fall under the anti-psychotic drugs. It is better to stick those busy ‘bouncing balls’ behind the wallpaper every now and then with a lot of wallpaper paste, instead of filling it with amphetamine and antipsychotics. Besides, I wonder what’s worse; addicted or chaos in the head.

We received the above eye-opener from a German doctor during a lecture in a Scottish addiction clinic. According to him, we are in the Netherlands when it comes to prescribing medication for ADHD. “Dutch people love pills. Lot’s of pills and no time for therapy”, he said in his speech on a beautiful German-English accent. I think he’s right. In the meantime, the use of illegal XTC pills does not differ that much from ‘legal’ ADHD pills.

The ‘drugs’ may only be prescribed by specialist dealers´ under strict conditions. The ‘user’ must take his dose on time. Things are already going wrong there. There are even slimbos who pulverize and sniff their pills. Others are Ritalin dealers and sell their own dose. Both are punishable under the Opium Act. Swallowing your dose in may be sniffed in.

In most cases it is impossible to get the correct dose. Especially with young people. Under the influence of their daily portion of Amphetamine or Methylphenidate they bounce half stoned by puberty. Carbonated drinks also undermine a good therapeutic effect. For fun, note how many coke and energy drinks are being consumed by the average adolescent. We are not even talking about drinking beer and alcoholic mixed drinks.

The side effects are not airborne either; palpitations, high blood pressure, suicidal thoughts, delusions. The noble aim to conduct behavioral therapy in addition to medication has simply not or hardly ever happened in practice. It is therefore impossible to achieve the desired rest in the adolescent brain.

In practice, we see that the preventive administration of medication hardly helps. Young people who already use medication can just as easily switch to ‘self-medication’ with cocaine, alcohol or amphetamine. Better therapy just needs to come. Starting with the psychiatrists.

The best therapy is available closer than we think. We move in it every day, but we no longer have an eye for it. This is because we are seduced by ‘stimuli’ in our fully built and self-managed environment. So I mean that the living environment influences behavior.

I know a couple of adolescents diagnosed with ADHD. I will not say they have ADHD but they are bouncy balls. One day I found the two ‘bouncing balls’ along the waterfront. They were fishing. “Hey do they want to bite a bit?” I asked. “Sssst … don’t talk so loud and don’t move so much, because then chase the fish away”

What?! They add if I wanted to take it easy. How is it possible that these guys were able to hold the fishing rod like tame lambs without any movement? So it is possible!

I have been out and about several times with young people and adults in nature. There the ADHD behavior disappears like snow in the sun. It is so much healthier than filling our bodies with medication. Okay I hear several parents say that it helps their child. Which can! But then natural therapy is always even better. But to conclude with the vision of the French philosopher Paul Ricoeur; “behavior is an expression of words, and in fact we mean to say something else”. Children want to say what they cannot put into words through certain behavior. It takes time to understand your child’s behavior. A lot of time. And we don’t have that. So..

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Socratic conversation to solve problems

What is Socratic motivation?
People do not change under duress. Exercise your coercion and it will irrevocably go wrong with the matter you want to change. The people involved only want to change if they want to, of their own free will. Socratic motivation is about inner motivation and not about the coercion of external advice. Circumstances and the moment play an important role in this. If you want to change people against their will, you will experience anger, sadness, frustration, irritation and you will be perceived as pushy. During Socratic motivation, a balance of pros and cons is drawn up, as it were. But nothing is fixed with rules and laws. Everything is relative. Not the choice between good and evil but between two more or less evil or good options. Sometimes a dilemma where you have to choose, of which there is always a less pleasant outcome. But good as long as things roll and a dynamic process can be started.

Pavlov’s conditioning theory
Why do some people hardly change? This is largely due to fixed patterns, conditioning and triggers. According to Pavlov’s conditioning theory, behavior is largely determined by receiving rewards. In the well-known example of Pavlov with the dogs, the dog was fed after hearing a bell. Then the bell was heard but no food was given to the dog. The dog drooled because he heard the bell and knew he would be fed afterwards.

Pattern in the brain
For many years people have been in autopilot, as it were. They do the things we are used to doing. It’s all about short-term satisfaction. Our brains have stored this pattern. Long term thinking is out is the slogan of the new hedonistic generation. We can say that we are dealing with a large group of lazy people. Change takes a lot of energy and time. And since it can be difficult to make time, we keep pushing the change ahead. Or have things done by someone else. To change is to teach another program. Addiction is one of the most difficult behavioral patterns to change.
Basic Socratic conversation

Actually, the term ‘motivate’ is not entirely correct. Motivation is basically letting the other person do things that he probably doesn’t want at all. Motivation is then synonymous with ‘adapting’ or ‘just having to be like the other’. That is precisely why the other does not want to change. If someone is not motivated for something, we actually say that we expect something from the other. It can sometimes seem compelling. This is a major pitfall in conversation management. Maybe he just wants to be like that.

Purpose of motivation
Socratic conversation is based on understanding why the other person does not want to change. Why he or she wants to be like this. It sounds bizarre, but someone can choose to continue drinking or gambling, for example. In the literature of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) it is described as ‘Live and let live’. Live and let live. Respect for the other, but the other must also respect me. Socratic motivation is aimed at creating clarity. No ‘pushing’ or ‘pulling’ in a conversation. The client does not have to go anywhere. Create order in the chaos and take the other person into account extremely. The point is that we should enjoy the conversation.

The five steps of Socratic conversation
Determine the problem
Acquainted. Clarify life motives. Determine the function of the problem.
Advantages and disadvantages of the problem in the short and long term.
Does the client have to change something? Is he sure? Does he doubt or want to leave it as it is?
Does he want to change? How? Match the frame of reference. Do not change? Keep in touch how it goes.

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The drink theater

I still find the most beautiful professional literature the written ‘lifestories’. Stories written by the person himself or by others. Pauper Paradise is such a story. A raw family history of poverty and alcoholism.

“As kind-hearted as he was, and how pleasant it could be if he went to oranges with a lot of theater on special days, the father could not be maintained at home.”

Just a sentence from the first chapter of the book. Real life and immediately hit. Such are addicts. Everywhere a ‘theater’ is made. When we talk about their drinking, the thunder in the glasses really starts. But that is not their true nature. At least in part not. They play a compulsive role. The drink has taken over control. It determines the act and the script. There are three roles that are played; the role of prosecutor, savior and victim. In that kind of ‘Bermuda Triangle’ he can show something of himself. Not too much. But in the end that little will also disappear. Too bad, because there is really a good heart inside. From there he or she could give a nice performance but the curtains remain closed.

The Pauper Paradise story is set in a time of great poverty, alcoholism and vagrancy. The search for her ancestors send Suzanna (the author of the book) to the penal institution in Veenhuizen in Holland. Not a pleasant sensation. Yet she sees an opportunity to describe it in such a way that you immediately want to get in the car to visit it. I did that then too. Actually, I would like to do that with every book. But I certainly don’t get that feeling when I read a page from the DSM-5, for example. But that is an other story’.

Suzanna discovers that it was not all doom and gloom in her ancestry. Her ancestor had been a soldier in the service of none other than Emperor Napoleon. Fought in illustrious battles. Wow! These are only stories that you want to pass on to your offspring. Those facts are not an empty fill. It provides insight into someone’s life course. The choice, or rather, the fate that has happened to someone’s sex before, influences the further sex line.

At the end of the book, poverty, wealth and alcoholism seem to be “family”. The “sex line” that these three have in common does not seem to be broken. The historical facts prove once again that current addiction problems are not far from the past. On the contrary, I believe that alcoholism is largely hereditary. By hereditary I mean mainly spiritual and material. In the last century, alcoholism was related to a lot of money. Whether you lived in poverty or wealth. No stitch has changed today. Alcoholism is a common ‘disease’ that is difficult to combat. It only stops when the alcoholic has died. The theater performance ends and the curtain is closed. But just like the reaction of all the drinker’s fibers after a glass of alcohol, the audience screams after every performance; “we want more”. It is one big masquerade. We will never become aware of the real script that the drinker carries within. But what we do know by now is that people who are addicted to anything, realy have a deep thirst for real love!

The author of the book, Suzanna Jansen is a novelist and journalist. Prescribed, among others, NRC Handelsblad. More information about the Pauper Paradise can be found on the website http://www.suzannajansen.nl. You should definitely have read the story.

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Do you have a dream?

“I have a dream”. Who does not know the famous statement by Martin Luther King. On April 4, 2019, it was 51 years since Martin Luther King was murdered in 1968. This violently attacked nonviolence, justice and peace. But his principle of nonviolence won respect, hope and courage around the world. It is one of the most powerful speeches of words and language that can change a brain structure.

Education
Martin Luther King was born in Atlanta on January 15, 1929. He was already confronted with degrading racial discrimination at an early age. After his education at Morenhouse College, he decided to shape his ideals from his Christian faith. King studied theology in Chester and Chicago and then studied psychology in Boston. Martin Luther King, well trained, started his “Negation Revolution”.

Bus strike
In the year 1956, King became internationally known for the famous Bus Strike. A mass demonstration in Montgommery, Alabama, in which hundreds of ‘negroes’ did not travel by public transport in protest. This was a drain on the bus companies. In this way, the ‘negroes’ showed that they did count in society.

Nonviolence
The principle of nonviolence was regularly answered with horrific forms of terror and prison terms. Nonetheless, nonviolence around the world commanded respect and admiration. Martin Luther King’s principle inspired many people. King, in turn, was inspired by Jesus and Ghandi. Jesus and Ghandi exemplified how nonviolence had an effect on injustice and thus commanded great respect. By acting nonviolently, they commanded respect from those who tried to wrong them. For example, we see it in the suffering and death of Jesus. Soldiers, judges and ordinary people realized before and after Jesus’ death that He was innocent. Violence against black people in America was ultimately seen as an injustice against innocent people.

Nobel Prize for Peace
In 1963, Martin Luther King was named “Man of the Year” by Time magazine. King was a pastor of the Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, where he also lived with his wife and children. He also chaired the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. In 1964, King won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Dream killed?
Martin Luther King was shot dead on April 4, 1968 in Memphis. The question now to be asked: Did Martin Luther King’s dream come true or was it murdered with him? In the book ‘Why We Can’t Wait Longer’, King describes that he was aware that social changes cannot happen overnight. But he had the inspiration to start as if the next day would no longer be an option. Martin Luther King’s dream still lives on. It remains a topical theme to tackle injustice with nonviolence. It is the desire of many people and the desire of King to pass on his dream to the world in which we live.

To connect
Injustice is the opposite of ‘right’. Something is crooked which should actually be straight. Setbacks can be experienced as if wrongs have been done. Unfortunately, in some industries there is a culture where ‘people are about corpses’ and so kill dreams. Organizations, shareholders, directors can focus too much on the result that touches the human. When organizations dare to dream about these kinds of values, a culture can be positively influenced. Speaking your dream and connecting with others through your dream also inspires others to dare to dream. But sometimes something is bent with which you can make a straight stroke. That is why we must always look for the values ​​that people can connect. Martin Luther King’s speech, which is still one of the best speeches, proves that the right values ​​can connect people of different races and cultures.

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Vince Lombardi: Not of granite

My father used to say “there is nothing as changeable as a person”. I did not yet understand what he meant by that. The chaos in my adolescent brain kept distracting me. Now that I am a little older and, at times I think I have found some form of structure, something changes in my environment. Sometimes I go with certain fads. Can I start over again. For example, people who have a family know what I mean. For my work I am also always looking for tools that can help me to get the structure that seems to help others so well. I once read the biography of the famous American football coach Vince Lombardi. He was born on June 11, 1913 in Brooklyn, New York. As the son of an Italian immigrant, Vince grew up in a Catholic family. In 1928, at the age of 15, he went to study for a priest. After two years, he realized he had not been called to swing a censer. He decided to study elsewhere and went to St. Francis College. There he went on to play in the football team as a fullback. After graduation, Vince went to live at Fordham University and also played on the football team there, joining the acclaimed Fordham’s “Seven Blocks of Granite”. This was the strongest attacking team in American football history for years. Lombardi graduated from Fordham in 1937 with magna cum laude. He made the decision to take up an assistant trainer position at St. Cecilia High School in Englewood, New Jersey. During the eight years on St. Cecelia, Vince married Marie Planitz in 1940 and they had two children.

Simplicity and execution
In 1947, Lombardi joined the coaching staff at Fordham University. In 1949, Lombardi had the opportunity to continue his coaching career with the military team at West Point. Vince saw it as a great challenge to become an assistant to Earl Henry Blaik, also known as Red Blaik. He could not resist learning under the guidance of the famous “Red” Blaik. During this period Vince developed his famous “success formula”, simplicity and execution. He developed a well-known reputation as a tireless coach. This feature brought him to the position of assistant coach for the New York Giants in the National Football League (NFL). Over the five years with the Giants, Lombardi helped the team through five winning seasons, culminating in the championship in 1956.

Training, training, making mistakes does not matter
Lombardi then went on to become head coach and signed a five-year deal with the Green Bay Packers in January 1959. He organized intensive grueling training camps and demanded absolute dedication and effort from his players. Lombardi’s tough and disciplined style turned the Packers’ most successful year in 1960, winning five NFL championships, including Super Bowl 1 and 2 victories. Lombardi earned the title of greatest football coach in history. After a two-year hiatus, Lombardi went back in 1969 to lead the Washington Redskins. This immediately led to their first winning season in over a decade! It all seems very positive, but of course the Lombardi teams also lost matches. Mistakes were made during crucial games. But the mistakes were compensated by a special team spirit.

Homerun Vince Lombardi
Unfortunately, a serious form of colon cancer was diagnosed in Lombardi in 1970. Vince Lombardi died a short time later on September 3, 1970 at the age of 57. He made, as it were, his last ‘Homerun’. Vince Lombardi had become a well-loved and national icon. Thousands of people attended the two separate funerals. Shortly after his death, Lombardi was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Every year, his name is honored by presenting the Vince Lombardi trophy to the Super Bowl Champion.

The New management
The methods of coaches who have achieved legendary successes are very cautiously entering the business world. Fortunately, because its approach gives the business community more inspiration and nutrition to grow. Managers could learn more from sports coaches because they naturally have a special way of communicating. The pitfall that managers create for themselves is a wrong way of communicating and a variety of rules to secure their own position. As long as a lot of money is being made, no one will make a fuss. However, the people on which the company depends depend on the first crisis immediately. The new management is far from being applied in every company. There are still millions of companies that work the old way. Managers stop this from their holy houses and should be ashamed of it. Growth comes from learning from others and being open to collaboration and communication.

Lessons on change
Vince Lombardi’s approach is based on simplicity and execution. That simple appeals to me, but then it comes down to the implementation. If only everything were so simple that we didn’t have to do it. Lombardi was not concerned with the result in the first place. No convulsive focus on achieving success. Success was the logical consequence of the changes. Lombardi did not train to win. That sounds strange, but he was not tempted by the two paradoxes ‘profit’ and ‘loss’. He worked on the intrinsic values ​​of the players and the question “why they were football players”. Simon Sinek’s (simple) Golden Circle was not yet known at the time, but it is an eye-opener. Lombardi’s approach was based on a mix of disciplined, servant and devoted leadership. I think change has partly to do with the way of approaching. In the various articles about Lombardi’s life and work I have discovered some essential things that have led to their many championships;

Changing the culture in the team and the organization
Mapping values ​​that make up the culture
Determine behaviors that represent the values
Expressing values ​​and behavior
Repeat all the above points daily
I am not a doctor but the above points are not just like a prescription, it is about mentality and identity. Working with mentality and identity on a daily basis is a difficult ‘job’. Discipline and structure are things for me that I may never have control over. People who recognize themselves in this should not be sad, we have science on our side. You don’t change something in a weekend retreat. But it is also not something that you do by talking ‘pleasantly’ about it. Vince Lombardi had to work hard to transform the culture of a losing football team into a culture of champions. The Packers’ change process proves that people are “not of granite.” People can change. Positive and unfortunately also negative. But for some things, we just shouldn’t expect change. It is not necessary because you know that it is just right. My father was a fan of Ajax. Now I get that.

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