At the psychologist. Make a diagnosis.
Why do some people find it so difficult to get a grip on their lives?
Why did I actually become an entrepreneur?
Why can’t I get a grip on the business during this difficult period?
Why did my entrepreneurship go wrong?
Why can it sometimes be so difficult to take charge of myself, the company, my family, my marriage, and my children?
What causes are there?
“This is not about me. This is not what I need. ”
I went to a psychologist with a client dozens of times. Afterwards we sat in the car on the way home or at a menu at a well-known fast food chain. In most cases it was indicated that they felt that the psychologist was not talking about them. That it was not what they needed. With all due respect for the often nice female psychologists, who sometimes just graduated or had years of experience. It was simply the person who did not know where it was ‘locked’.
“Why” is the tip of the iceberg “
All ‘why’ questions are usually difficult questions. If a child has been doing something and you ask “why did you do that?” do you expect a well-argued answer? “Why do you use drugs?” “Why is it going well?” “Why aren’t you happy?” Stereotype man of the many I have spoken to; well-stocked bank account, nice woman, nice family, nice car and on vacation two or three times a year. Every week use more than 250.00 cocaine. An occasional visit to the casino. “Why do you do that?” He didn’t know. Just like all the other boys and men who get stuck despite the growing prosperity. Boy, young I had a question I didn’t know an answer to and I have to work with it every day. Three years ago I took stock again. “After 26 years in business and 16 years in relief work, I have discovered something valuable that may offer an opening.
“Golden circle is worth gold”
Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle is a godsend. The power of simplicity. It helps to ask the ‘why’ questions we forgot to ask or rather avoid. Once it has to get to this point by a coach or therapist, it will be very difficult. Usually it is then five minutes to twelve. That is not surprising. After all, we think there is a solution for everything. I want it and I want it now. It is becoming easier for us and, if we have had a bad childhood, it is easier to shut down than to work on it. The way people can ask about it often contains a judgmental label, which then sticks for an annoyingly long time. Well, they can’t help it either. After all, everyone has their leak and lack. Especially in the field of emotional ‘injuries’. The abrasion of the child that has fallen does not give the pain, but the fear of having to process it alone gives the greatest sorrow. That patch has a placebo effect against the comforting words of father or mother. For emotional damage in the adult world, there are also enough ‘patches’ to numb the pain. These are serious and persistent matters that are covered with a plaster. The comforting and understanding words are often hard to find. The ‘label’ has already been pasted. Old and new problems are consumed by the many ‘fast food’ products. The ‘why’ questions why people do something turn out to be too limited. It is a good start but that long and heavy distance from head to heart turns out to be a ‘heart-necked’ trajectory. The ‘why’ questions now appear to be frequently used to achieve success, so that you don’t have to say what needs to be said. So I wonder if we don’t take a shortcut too soon.
“If we want to go further, we must go back and rediscover those precious values, that all reality is based on moral foundations and that all reality needs spiritual guidance.” Martin Luther King
I have discovered that it is about raising awareness of dietary sources under the ‘why’ questions. Resources that help you take charge of your life. I hear the somewhat older entrepreneurs say that the company is being put in charge of them. During a meeting someone rightly remarked that he was constantly busy with control and technical language. As a result, he and the company did not receive sufficient nutrition from other sources. I see the same in people in the care sector. They are vulnerable, have experienced something or are under great pressure to perform. You are then most of the time busy with flight behavior. It was a bit confronting for me when I had to point out to someone that we had talked enough now. This is not meant to be negative, but everything in his life called for him to take charge of his story.
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